Hollywood Pacers
by Glenn A. on Jul 21, 2011 8:38 PM EDT
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Print[From the FanPosts, Glenn A has a little fun during the dog days of the NBA lockout. -TL]
Oh lockout, oh lockout, why torment me so? The lack of basketball news is starting to really abuse my mental psyche. So much so, I've decided to create a fanpost comparing current Pacers to current Hollywood residents. It's possible desperation has never gone to such lengths. Oh well, I've got to do something Pacers' related to keep my entertainment interests afloat.
For the record, these comparisons aren't based on looks. They mostly focus on career and/or stylistic similarities. After the jump, see which of one of your favorite Pacers' starters is Hollywood elite or a Hollywood question mark.
Roy Hibbert - Ryan Reynolds: Both are relatively young for their respective careers, both possess the "likability" factor among fans, and both seemingly have a tireless work ethic. Jump over to IC, or to Pacers.com, and you'd be hard-pressed not to find a fanpost in Roy's name, or a video showing off his recent training/fandom exploits. Turn on the tube, and you'd be hard-pressed not to see Reynolds' grill in some type of movie trailer or promotion. The parallels don't end there, either. Both tried to go soft in order to reinvent themselves (Reynolds in "The Proposal," Hibbert's weight loss to become more nimble). Both attempts were met with "blah" results. Despite all the intangibles, you have to wonder if both have already hit their professional peak. There just doesn't seem to be much more untapped potential for either one to channel. Oh yeah, let's not forget Reynolds recently "bulked up" for "Green Lantern" which did little to further boost his repertoire. Let's hope that's not a bad omen for Roy's own recent "pack-it on" efforts.
Tyler Hansbrough - Brendan Fraser: It would be completely unfair to compare Fraser's regrettable, once-upon-a-time efforts such as "Encino Man" and "School Ties" to Hansbrough's more storied UNC career. But when thinking about style and/or lack of aesthetics, there might not be a more compatible pair. Goof-ball NBA player meets Goof-ball Hollywood Actor. You say unorthodox, I say "Brensbrough." Tomatoes, tomatoes, right? Both seemingly find endless avenues to awkwardly perform. Both can be surprisingly effective (Fraser's "Mummy" franchise; Hansbrough's scoring streak once named a starter). Both can predictably produce some major duds (Fraser's "Inkheart," "George of the Jungle" and "Journey to the Center of the Earth;" Hansbrough's disappearance in the Bulls' series). Such is the life for the graceless.
Danny Granger - Mark Wahlberg: Whenever the names Granger and/or Wahlberg come to mind, my usual first impression is to assign a B+ label. Both guys are dependable and consistent in their respective professions, even many times impressive, but ultimately they just don't appear to have the goods to be an elite first option. Give Granger some open 3s, some drives to the hoop, and 20 ppg is automatic. Give Wahlberg a stoic role where smiles are at a premium, and he'll usually nail it. Make Granger a vocal leader and it gets inexplicably-throw-the-ball-at-OJ-Mayo awkward. Put Wahlberg next to Will Ferrell and ask him to be funny, and it screams uncomfortable. Both guys are good enough to achieve some pretty impressive honors (Granger All-Star in 2009; Wahlberg Academy Award Nomination for "The Departed"), but I wouldn't bet on either one achieving annual superstar relevance.
Paul George - Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Versatility. Potential. Future stardom. That about sums it up for these two. PG can play two positions, guard three; he Ds it up, and provides some offense. Gordon-Levitt can be funny and depressed at the same time ("500 Days if Summer"); he can be dramatic, intense, and strategic ("Inception"). Both impressed in the presence of their professions' elite (PG on D-Rose, Gordon-Levitt playing alongside DiCaprio). Like PG, Gordon-Levitt appears close to getting that one inevitable opportunity that vaults him from promising youngster to full-fledged stardom.
Darren Collison - Jeremy Renner: If you don't pay close attention, you may just miss these guys' efficient production. Collison was largely an unknown until his 19 and 9 explosion in New Orleans. Renner was a no-name until "The Hurt Locker." Bland or unspectacular may be adjectives used to describe their physical presence, but once on the stage, they got game. I can't imagine either one becoming a household name, but they've got the look of being solid options, who'll be 10-15 year vets in their professions.
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i thought wahlberg was funny in the other guys
Harper's on Miller, McKey, gets in to Miller for the win and...
Hail to the Orange.
Hail to the Blue.
Hail Alma Mater,
Ever so true.
We love no other,
So let our motto be
Victory, Illinois, Varsity.
Chief Illiniwek lives
Totally agree
One thing I disagree with Glenn on. Wahlberg’s part was the hyperbolic “tough guy” cop who tried hard at everything (even things that seemed gay like ballet dancing). Hilarious how hard that character tried and tried to play it off as nothing. Loved it. Perfect fit for Wahlberg, though I never thought he could’ve pulled it off.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
FUNNY
This maybe the most funny post I have read here and yes I also believe there is a strong possibly that drug are involved with this one.
Drugs?
Yes, as I alluded to, the lockout may be the most harmful drug out there for people like me looking for something to write about. This post is all over the place and downright stupid, but I had a good time with it, so I guess there’s that personal consolation.
by Glenn A. on Jul 21, 2011 1:34 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
green'd
J.UST E.NJOY T.HIS S.HIT
This is Forty08.
Two goin' at once[simultaneous]
by big_p.a.w.z. on Jul 21, 2011 8:53 AM EDT up reply actions
Probably prescriptions rather than street drugs, though...
Gotta give you credit for abuse the way an intellectual would do it. :)
by FortWayneKarl on Jul 21, 2011 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Sorry...
I know you probably spent a great deal of time writing this article. Although somewhat far fetched, it was well written and some of the comparisons are acceptable. However, if the lockout is going to lead to similar threads in the future, I can’t fricken wait for the lockout to end.
Another aspect of the Granger-Wahlberg comparison
I know that Wahlberg is a respectable actor now, but let’s not forget that he used to be a rapper named Marky Mark.
While Granger never performed music under the name of “Danny Dan and the Funky Bunch” (though maybe the starters could adopt that, to counter the bench’s Goon Squad), he was a late bloomer who was hardly recruited coming out of high school. When Granger was a teenager, if you had told people that he would one day be an NBA all-star, you would have been met with a lot of skepticism. Just like 20 years ago people would have thought you were crazy if you said that Marky Mark would get nominated for an academy award.
I prefer to compare Danny to an intriguing borderline a-lister who's good at one thing...
…Like Bruce Willis. He’s awesome at action movies. The “Die Hard” movies and “The Fifth Element,” among others, define him as an actor. Just like the spot-up three pointer seems to have defined Danny as a player this last year or two. Put him in a deeper role (like his role in “Bandits” or “The Sixth Sense,” which he almost ruined) and he sucks (except for the boxer in “Pulp Fiction,” but hell, he was a boxer…Bruce was perfect for it). Put Danny in a more complicated situation (like #1 scorer on a title contender) and he probably sucks too.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
Big fan of this post Glenn!
I agree with most of them except the Roy Hibbert/Paul George = Ryan Reynolds/Gordon Joseph Levitt comparisons. I like both actors but I think Ryan Reynolds could one day be a lot more big time than i think Roy could and I kind of see Gordon Joseph -Levitt in the way you describe Mark Wahlberg, will always be a good supporting actor. For me, I think Paul George could really go places, all be it for limited period of time.
For Roy, I was thinking somebody like Jason Flemying (British Actor but has been in quite a few American/US distrubuted movies.) In absolutely loads, never the main character but people know who he is and respects what he does. The importance of his roles vary from film to film from fairly major to particulalrly minor, but he is never the star.
I was thinking for Paul George could be someone like Jamie Foxx. A lot people see a bit of Tracy McGrady, in him so I was thinking that like Foxx, he would start off in some critically acclaimed supporting roles and then for a period transcend to a couple of years of Oscar Worthy/Winning performances. I can see George’s career, if all goes to plan reaching some really dizzy heights but not neccesarily for a sustained period a la Duncan/Kobe. He will always be respected and will have the talent to reach the top but not perenially be the top bill.
What are your thoughts?
PG = Tom Hardy
Bane in the new Batman flick. Had a side part in Inception, played the lead in Bronson and KILLED it, shoulda been an Oscar nom. Australian so he still isn’t known much, PG went to Fresno State so he wasn’t known much. He’s older than I thought (33), but this year’s going to be his coming out party much like PG and they’re both soon to be household names.
Of course, I could be placing entirely too much faith and hope into Hardy, which I sometimes worry I do with PG.
Bane, huh.
Honestly, I thought they were gonna go with the Riddler.
It just so happens that both Hardy and Gordon-Levitt are in the batman movie. Could it be the beginning of a Sandler/Schneider-esque duo for Drama/action movies?
Thug Life. It's a Pacers thing, you wouldn't get it.
by infinityzero.systemerror on Jul 22, 2011 8:28 AM EDT up reply actions
Foxx
That’s a fine comparison. I guess the difference between Foxx and Gordon-Levitt, though, is that Foxx has already reached Tracy McGrady/elite status, while Gordon-Levitt is still on the precipice…and I guess my overall point was that PG is also on the precipice. But I think you nailed it when comparing Foxx’s and PG’s ceilings. Foxx’s ceiling is impressive, but maybe not “superstar” sustainable, while I tend to agree with IndyPacers that Gordon-Levitt’s ceiling could be DiCaprio-esque. Like you, I see PG comparing more favorably to the “impressive, but probably not superstar sustainable” label.
I don't know
I feel like Foxx never took a grip on that star-quality like he could have after “Ray.” He just sort of faded. I hope that doesn’t parallel with George.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
Man....
“Stealth” was a horrible movie.
Thug Life. It's a Pacers thing, you wouldn't get it.
by infinityzero.systemerror on Jul 23, 2011 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions
I thought he was pretty good in that violin movie with Ironman...
…Wasn’t as good of a movie as I thought it would be, but his performance was pretty good.
Stealth was bad, but not as bad as some of his songs with Lil’ Wayne.
peac.e
This one's obvious
But Jeff is clearly Angelina Jolie. He quite literally could pass for her brother’s twin, but he’s not famous sooo
I like Jeff as a useful utility guy you can't live without, but will never carry your picture...
…Like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Steve Bucemi or to a lesser extent, Paul Giamatti.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
Spent all day thinking on this
Was only able to get a few more from players not mentioned:
James Posey = Eugene Levy – In the right position, Levy can make something good better (see any Christopher Guest film), but he’s not good enough on his own to make something bad good (see The Man).
A.J. Price = Bow Wow – I really see him as a rapper actor, one of the ones that kind of shows up every so often to remind you he’s still an actor, but aside from the occasional line delivered with conviction, he’s not really anyone you would search out.
Brandon Rush = Nicolas Cage – If Rush is the cockroach the Pacers can’t ditch, Cage is the cockroach Hollywood can’t ditch. Every so often though, Cage’ll pull out a competent scene, but he’s going to just as quickly fall back into that same frustrating Cage awfulness.
Lance Stephenson = Donald Glover – I struggled with this one (almost went with Shea LaBeouf circa 2005), but ultimately went with Glover. Glover has seen success on the internet with Derrick Comedy, television with Community, and even music with Childish Gambino, but he’s still an unknown commodity at the next level. I think he can be a successful film actor, but it’s all guess work for the time being.
Solomon Jones = Cashier at coffee shop (uncredited) – Easiest one.
For some reason, Chris O’Donnell came to mind for Duns, but I struggle to make a good case.
Totally disagree with Rush=Cage
I’m a huge Nicolas Cage fan, but hoping that this is the last year for Rush as a Pacer.
by FortWayneKarl on Jul 22, 2011 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Leaving Las Vegas!
Adaptation! Raising Arizona! Talk about a paradox, how can such a good actor consistently act so bad?
Hey, kind of like Rush!
How can a player with the tools Rush has be so consistently inconsequential?
That said, the Rush/Cage analogy works for me, but he’s probably my least favorite actor, but if you’re a fan, well, I’m sure Rush has fans in Indiana too, haha.
Dude Adaptation was awful
Nicolas Cage is pretty one-dimensional. That’s why he can so easily ruin a movie like “Adaptation” or “8 mm” but when he lands the right part he can save an otherwise terrible movie (like Caster Troy in “Face/Off”…he actually played the protagonist and the antagonist pretty well and acted circles around John Travolta). Also “Raising Arizona” absolves him of any bad decisions he ever made. If you don’t like that movie you don’t get it.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
Raising Arizona is his only good role in my mind.
But, the Cohen Brothers can make good movies, so it’s not really fair. Although it was a pretty bad movie, I didn’t hate him in Ghost Rider….otherwise I can’t stand him…and Eva Mendez didn’t hurt his case there.
peac.e
he was good in bad lieutenant: port of call new orleans
thats pretty much it for me for nic cage movies
Harper's on Miller, McKey, gets in to Miller for the win and...
CHIEF
by wonillionaire on Jul 25, 2011 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Cage seems to be more established
but otherwise I can see the parallels. Cage can turn in some brilliant performances, but turns out enough duds that neither is really surprising. Just like any given game there’s an equal chance of Rush going for 20 or going 0-2 with 3 charges.
AJ
That AJ Price – Bow Wow take was hilarious. Every time I forget Bow Wow exists, something related to him suddenly pops up. Then you watch him act or listen to his rap, and you remember he’s pretty much just a career 39% performer. Much like AJ Price’s FG%.
by Glenn A. on Jul 22, 2011 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
George Hill = Don Cheadle
Like Don with Clooney, Pitt, and Damon, Hill had to intern with Duncan, Ginobili, and Parker before he became known to the masses. Like Hill w/ the NBA community, Cheadle is well-respected amongst the actor’s community and Hollywood elite, but not really landed that big role. Like when Cheadle took over for Howard in the Iron Man franchise, Hill took over Parker’s role for awhile with the Spurs, and may become more prominent b/c of it. Like Cheadle with Ocean’s, Crash, Swordfish, and Traffic, Hill may be destined to do his best work with ensemble casts; still important to the ultimate success, but never the superstar who gets $20 mil a flick/year.
Two words
Hotel Rwanda
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
F*** the haters, this post is brilliant
You can come write for me anytime you want.
Also, anyone who doesn’t think Gordon-Levitt has chops and potential needs to watch “Brick.” If the dialogue doesn’t go over your head, his freaking on-point performance will blow your mind. He nails it.
So does Glenn. Good work.
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
+1
Harper's on Miller, McKey, gets in to Miller for the win and...
CHIEF
by wonillionaire on Jul 23, 2011 1:14 AM EDT up reply actions
So...
Is Ron Artest the Gary Busey of the basketball world?
Thug Life. It's a Pacers thing, you wouldn't get it.
by infinityzero.systemerror on Jul 23, 2011 1:14 AM EDT reply actions
Or maybe the Charlie Sheen?
"You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"
Come visit The Fantasy Ninjas. We'd love to hear from you.
Just based on looks....
…I used to think that Rush looked a lot like Terrance Howard…but, Rush’s face kinda got fat and they only looked similar on tv, not photos.
Jeff Foster- Looks alot like Will Arnett from Arrested Development (other things, but that’s where I know him best).
Josh McRoberts- Looks ALOT like Charlie Day. When Josh is clean shaven, not so much, but with the scruffy beard….yup.
peac.e
ha ha, Jeff Foster as Will Arnett in Arrested Development
“You think I’m going to take a charge in a $35 uniform? C’MON!”
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