Help Wanted!

by incredibleFAULK on Apr 7, 2011 4:53 PM EDT

(Disclaimer: this could be a GIANT waste of a bunch of people's time)

I'm looking for a fun, creative nickname for a current NBA player who plays for the Charlotte Bobcats. His name is Stephen Jackson. He used to play for the Pacers, but left on bad terms. I'm hoping a nickname could symbolize how some truly feel about the person, not the athlete. Also, I would like to bring up the past as much as possible when coming up with a nickname (Palace fight, firing a handgun in public, etc.). It would also be fantastic if the nickname could reference a tattoo he has! The more irrelevant to a group of Indiana Pacers fans and waste of time the nickname is, the better! Here are a few I've come up with so far:

Stephen "Wears a Sweatband" Jackson

Stephen "SHOOTS at things other than baskets" Jackson

Stephen "Gun" Jackson

Stephen "Sweet gun with a cross-hair tattoo" Jackson

Stephen "spelled with a ph, not a v" Jackson

Stephen "angry person" Jackson

Shoot 'em Jack

Fight 'em Jack

Is it a good start? If any of them sound good, let me know! My plan is to use the nickname anytime I make reference to him. But, I'll be sure to remind you who he really is every time I make reference to the nickname just in case you forget or get confused (i.e. Shoot 'em Jack, a.k.a Stephen "Gun" Jackson, a.k.a Stephen "spelled with a ph, not a v" Jackson).

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Oopsie!

I forgot the best part of this ~~waste of time~~ post…

…THE PICTURE!!!

The FAULK

by incredibleFAULK on Apr 7, 2011 4:59 PM EDT reply actions

stephen “born loser” jackson
stephen “team killer” jackson
stephen “likes dick” jackson
stephen “left for dead” jackson
stephen “darryl strawberry” jackson
Wacko Jacko
Stephen Jacksuck

by ErK2044 on Apr 7, 2011 6:08 PM EDT reply actions

Is this a shot at that Patsreallylongfreakinname guy?

by infinityzero.systemerror on Apr 8, 2011 1:40 AM EDT reply actions

Has to be…. Well done. How about:
Stephen “PatsR18anddonewithCheating is obsessed with me” Jackson?

by indy62 on Apr 8, 2011 6:01 AM EDT up reply actions

Ha!

Outstanding. Also, can we devote an entire post to PatsR18… and pwalnuts going back and forth?? Those two are so in tune to the basketball universe that they should have their own radio show.

by TheHawk5 on Apr 8, 2011 9:45 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

^this

it would be epic beyond our tiny brains

by Agent J on Apr 8, 2011 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions

honestly, your nickname suggestions were terrible, Faulk.

Distraction Jackson, or the Steve of Destruction, both come to mind, and that’s just thinking about it for 50 seconds.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important. -- Eugene J. McCarthy

by zherebyonki on Apr 8, 2011 2:55 AM EDT reply actions

Jack-Ass

"Did dis dude just did dis?" John Starks, eloquently praising Reggie for his 8.9 second clinic.

by FunkFitzgerald on Apr 8, 2011 8:39 AM EDT up reply actions

jackass is a nonhyphenated compound word

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important. -- Eugene J. McCarthy

by zherebyonki on Apr 9, 2011 7:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Did you not understand his nickname for Stephen Jackson?

Seems pretty straight-forward to me.

by infinityzero.systemerror on Apr 10, 2011 3:25 AM EDT up reply actions

oh, i get it. Yeah, I can get behind "Jack-Ass" as a nickname.

i thought he was replying to my admittedly asinine tone. Faulk asked us what we thought, and i was unnecessarily sassy.

since i brought down the discussion, maybe i can elevate it.
the word nickname was originally “eke-name,” from “eke” meaning “to add.” Eventually the pronunciation of “an ekename” to be “a nickname,” with the consonant “n” jumping from the indefinite article to the noun. Similar phenomena are seen with apron (it was “a napperon” when adopted from french, then became ‘an apron.’) An apple used to be a napple, and an ox was a nox. For a while, you would check under a chicken for "a negge’ but that fad didn’t stick, and we went back to ‘an egg.’

This and a great many more cool etymologies can be found in “Thereby Hangs a Tale” by Charles Earle Funk.
Peace!

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important. -- Eugene J. McCarthy

by zherebyonki on Apr 10, 2011 6:13 PM EDT up reply actions